Come Back to Me
by cnikkis
Summary: Fear of her emotions leads Bella on a journey away from home. Along the way she finds herself in the middle of a love triangle that could rival her own. In finding Damien Bella finds that she can come to terms with her fears. A-U
1. You Say You Gotta Go and Find Yourself

**Come Back to Me**

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Summary- Bella's feelings for Jake confuse her, as does the fear of her impending marriage. She the hops in her new truck and heads to Denver. What awaits for her there is the human life she never knew she could have. Will she find her way back to Washington and both boys who stole her heart? AU.

Warnings- Not sure on this front, I'll stick with my normal ones, violence, language, sex, drugs, alcohol maybe some minor Edward and Jacob bashing ….. Really I'm not sure yet, it all depends on how the story pans out.

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_June 6__th__ 2008_

_Forks Washington_

"_All I want is life to go back to the way it was before it became infested with mythical creatures. All these beings seem to do is rip my heart out and stomp on it, leaving me broken and crying. Edward left me, then Jake fixed me from Edward's betrayal, now Edward is back, oh and the icing on the fucking cake is that I have learned that I am in love with both of them. Not just friendly love either, no this is I want you to be my partner until the day I die love. I thought I made the right decision that day with Jake, but now I'm not so sure. Edward is a guy almost every girl could dream about, handsome, rich, smart, and did I mention vampiric? Jake too is a dream guy, handsome smart, mechanically inclined, though he has a furry little problem. I love them both, but I wish for once in my complicated existence in Forks Washington that I could be normal. The stress of keeping two major secrets is giving me ulcers, well I think it's giving me ulcers, it could just be Charlie's poor cooking abilities. _

_I know I have made some poor decisions, and more then half of this mess is my fault. (The other part of the blame rests on the higher power that put beings with such power over me on the planet.) I really thought my unfailing love for Jacob was strictly familial, and I honestly thought that I would want Edward until the apocalypse, or at least until the day I died. I do still want the life where I survive by sucking the life juice out of woodland creatures, but I also want to curl into the arms of my sometimes furry best friend. When did life become so complicated?" _

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I finished my journal entry on the snazzy new laptop Alice bought me, and pulled up US Bank online to check my account balance. I needed to run away. I can't deal with this town anymore; I am tired of feeling torn between two people that I love. Why can't I just be a normal human and not fall in love forever at seventeen? I know now that I will always love Edward, but Jake has a similar pull. His name brings a smile to my face that I know is not normal. Normal people don't have sex dreams about their best friends, do they? I want to shake my addiction to one of them, but they are more addictive then the cigarettes I have sitting next to me. Why did I have to go and screw everything up?

My laptop stopped my internal rants long enough for me to see the balance on the screen, seventy five hundred dollars. Well shiznit! The money was originally for a semester at the University of Alaska, but I no longer needed it. If I went with Edward, I'd be immortal and bloodthirsty within a week of my homecoming, if I choose Jake; well there was always that nifty full ride scholarship I received last week to the University of Washington. Plus if I happened to choose Jake for my forever, he'd want me close enough to smell.

My life used to be normal, I mean I was kind of a loner, but who needs more friends then the ones inside your family tree? True you can't really have a non-awkward conversation about sex, but at least the Italian mob isn't after your blood, literally! Ugg, I miss normality, and I hope this little road trip away from memory lane can bring me some of it, or at least help me decide who is the best person to say I do too.

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Edward's Point of View

I was sitting playing a not so typical game of chess with Alice, when her eyes glazed over and her mind filled with images of Bella trying to tell me she was leaving to find herself. I knew this day was coming, ever since she realized that she was in love with that _dog_ she had been distant. She didn't even try to force make-out sessions with me anymore, I guess Mr. I-Smell-Like-A-Kennel gave her all the tongue action she needed for awhile.

"Alice when is she going to call," I asked my favorite sister as soon as her mind cleared of my distraught love. I hated that she was going through all that stress I would understand, I mean if I had two equally appealing futures, I probably would want to run away too.

"In five minutes. Edward, I know you are going to worry about losing her to him, but not once since she started planning this has her future gotten hazy. I can almost guarantee that she will not end up with him." I felt my heart jump; she would still be mine even though she was planning this epic vacation to choose between us. "Edward, that doesn't mean that she will end up with you, but no matter the outcome I see you happy."

I felt my heart drop, happiness without Bella; I don't see how that's possible. I was separated from her for an extended time and it never got easier. "How can I be happy without her? She's the only one for me, have you ever met another vampire who loved more then one person?"

"Actually, yes I have. It's Bella if she doesn't go on this trip. Would you rather she live an eternity with regret? Because, yes you can talk her out of this trip and prove to her for the time being that she is making the right choice, but in the future she is depressed and constantly wondering of what could have been. Let her do this, and you won't be disappointed." She looked at me with her topaz eyes and smiled. She spoke the truth, I knew I could easily talk Bella out of this, but helping her was probably the best way to have her stay mine.

"What do I do to help?" I was thinking about buying her a car that was better then the rusted out hunk of metal she was driving today.

"OOO, great idea! Get her a truck, a new Silverado, the smallest one on the lot when you go. She loves the truck she has now, and that was going to be its replacement. Plus, it will be helpful for where she's going." She immediately closed her mind once she said this, I really hated Britney Spears.

"Where is she going Alice?" I couldn't help but ask.

"That is for you to find out with her. I have an idea to get her to accept the truck and loan graciously. Offer her a compromise, money and a car for a daily journal entry. That way you can see what she does daily, but be warned if you read it you may not like some things you read."

"Even if I don't like it Alice, it will be an insight into how she thinks. I sometimes feel like I don't know her at all."

Shortly after Alice left the room my Blackberry started to play Claire De Lune, a memory of our first car ride together. "Hey Love.'" I answered quickly.

"Edward, can you come over there is something I'd like to discuss with you." So formal Bella, if I didn't know what was coming I'd be super nervous, hell I do know what is coming and I am still super nervous.

"I'll be there soon love. I just need to go pick a few things up first. I love you."

"I love you too Edward." She told me and the line disconnected.

I ran to Port Angeles and went straight to the Chevy dealership. I made quick work of the lot and knew the truck I wanted before the scum bag sales person even walked up to me. "Is there anything I can help you with sir," he asked politely. "_I hate it when kids come onto the lot, they never buy anything all they do is waste my time" _His not so polite thoughts screamed at me. Well I guess today I will prove him wrong.

"Actually yes, sir there is. I wish to purchase this truck. I will pay the whole sum in cash."

"_Is he serious, how can a teenager afford a truck like this, with cash? I guess his parents must be loaded. He makes me uncomfortable, and he is so handsome, I wonder if he models. No human is that beautiful." _The sales man thoughts were proof of his ADHD. I always hated listening to crazy peoples minds, they could never think along the same topic line for more then a few seconds. Hell, I could probably mention Bella, and he would go from his wife to his cat in three seconds. "Would you like a test drive?" He said aloud.

"No, this is the truck I want. I know it will be perfect, hey do you guys have big red bows for sale?" I tried to be polite in speaking, even though he could barely offer the same courtesy.

"We do, so who is this a gift for? Do you have a lucky lady waiting for you?" "_His lady is probably like sixty and hands him money like sloppy sex. I am so glad I don't care about money that way, and why is he making me feel like running. Seriously, it's just a handsome kid, I see them all day."_

His thoughts frustrated me. How could he be so callous? "I do have a girl would, would you like to see the picture?" I asked him hopefully shutting up the derogatory thoughts about, _my lady_. I pulled out my favorite picture of Bella, one where she and I were sitting at my piano. She was leaning into me looking towards the camera, while I placed my lips to her hair.

'_Wow, she looks like she could model too, although her beauty is more natural. I guess I may be wrong about this kid." _"She's beautiful, how did you win over that one, Mr."

He asked as a question, "Cullen sir."

"_That explains the money and looks. Those Cullen's are so rich and beautiful; I wonder if Carlisle uses his skills on them. He seems like a good kid."_ "Cash you said. We will take it back for cleaning now."

The sales guy went inside and told me to follow. I filled out all the paperwork, and called the insurance agency. I got full coverage for six months on the truck. It eventually came around and I hopped in noting the bow on the front seat. I made my way to the DMV, registered the truck in both Bella's and my name, and drove to her house. The whole time plotting a way to follow her to wherever it was she was going, I knew she would be mad at me, but what if she ran into something scarier then me, she doesn't exactly have the best tract record. Hell, last time she was left alone she befriended my mortal enemy, and then nearly got herself killed by wandering around looking for me. The girl was a danger magnet.

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I quickly arrived at Bella's house only to notice the stench of tobacco fermenting from the back porch, if she didn't kick that wretched habit I was going to tie her to my bed until the cravings wore off. Of course if she did choose me, then there was no need for her to quit, but if for some reason she choose the mutt then I guess I would have to go ahead with the tie Bella to my bed plan. She didn't need Carlisle as her chemotherapy doctor in years to come.

I parked the truck behind its great-grandfather. I knew Bella would love the new truck, whenever we talked about cars; she seemed to lean towards them. I don't know why, cars go so much faster and have much better gas mileage. I guess that's just Bella though. I hopped the gate and scared the crap out of her, by stepping into her line of vision. Whenever I wasn't around, it seemed the girl didn't notice a damn thing. Then again, she didn't have super natural hearing.

She dropped her cancer stick on the ground by her feet when she jumped and cursed, "Fuck Edward! Don't you think I deserve a little bit of notice. Next time drag your feet or something."

I kissed her forehead gently, trying to show her my love, and answered her poorly worded curse, "Sorry Love, next time I'll pull a you, and trip over the gate while losing my shoe."

Unfortunately she had picked up the still burning cigarette and threw it at me. It me in the forehead and caused a small cry of pain to escape. Of all the things to throw at me, she had to choose the only one that would hurt. Typical Bella. "Sorry Edward, it was the only thing I had in my hand." She smiled sheepishly, and I couldn't help but smile back at her. "It's fine, just next time throw your shoe or something. At least those won't leave a mark, on me at least." She smiled at me and stumbled her way into the house. God, I loved this girl. Sure, she was about as graceful as a sea lion, but she had personality. Most girls lack it, and if they do have it they are either taken, gay, or ugly, not that I focus on looks, but I did have testosterone at one point in my existence.

"So love, you needed to talk to me about something?" I spoke as a question even though I knew full well what she was about to do to me.

"Actually yes, I am leaving for a bit. I don't know who I am anymore, and I can't help but feel I made the wrong decision when I told Jake no. I need to get away from all this, there is too much that I can't deal with right now. I just want to know who I am without the constant fear of mythical creatures banging on my doorstep or window at all hours of the night. Please forgive me."

I smiled at her, though it hurt, I would rather have her make her own decisions then live an eternity of regret. "Bella, whatever is best for you I am here for support. What can I do to help?"

"Edward, there is nothing you can offer except your support. I need to do this alone." She started walking to the front of the house, pausing only to grab her keys.

"Where are you going love?"

"I was hoping that you would come with me when I go pick out a new truck, mine won't make it further then Seattle, and you can listen to the sales person's mind."

"I thought you didn't need my help," I teased her.

"Ok fine I need your help to find a car that won't screw me. I may need your help for other things too, like packing or lugging duffle bags to the car." I smiled at her again. I loved how sarcastic she could be sometimes.

She opened the door and immediately saw the red on black of the truck I purchased for her. She turned to me and looked like she was ready to kill. "Edward, what the FUCK! I told you I didn't need you to buy me a car, and here one is, sitting in my driveway. Christ, can't you listen to me for once; I do not need you help!" She yelled.

Her response kind of hurt me, I mean ya I bought her a car and she told me not too, but still. At least she hadn't looked in the cab yet. That was sure to bring out an entire new stream of curses. But she did need a new phone and probably new clothes as well. It was only a thousand dollars to a department store; she won't kill me over that.

"Bella, I knew about your plan," she opened her mouth to speak, "ya, ya fucking Alice I know. Please listen to me; I have a proposition for you. One this truck is brand new and has the latest safety features, even On-Star, I will worry less. Two, the phone is for you to call for help and not worry about dropping calls, the GPS is so you can find your way to wherever you need to be. Third the clothes are so you can be dressed appropriately no matter where you end up. This is my gift to you so that I will be able to not follow you. The only thing I ask in return is that you journal your entire trip, document your days. You do not need to let me read them, but I want you to write it down for yourself."

"Wow, ok so I guess you just want me safe. Are you sure there is nothing else you want in return, not like an answer to why I am confused, and this surely isn't a way to buy me over is it?"

"No, Bella it's not. I thought about talking you out of it, but decided against it. You need this before you make the biggest decision of your life. I will never try to control you again, it almost ripped us apart the times I did do it, and I have learned my lesson. Please accept this as help from a friend, just like the computer Alice got you, or the bracelet that is on your wrist from Jake."

"I guess I can take it then, are you sure? What if I don't decide in your favor?"

"Then consider the gifts as your wedding present."

"Edward, why are you being so mature and grow up about this? Normally you would try to talk me out of a trip alone, especially one where I might not be coming back as your fiancé." Loaded question, Bella.

"I am accepting it because I have too. I could talk you out of it, but I have seen the repercussions if I do. I'd rather you be happy with someone else, then miserable with me. You need this to decide what is best for you, not everyone else." I smiled my crooked grin at her to let her know that I was serious. How could I not be, I am telling the truth.

"Thank you Edward," she squealed then launched herself into my arms. She kissed me full on the mouth and started to nibble my lip. It cause a reaction that was common to being with Bella like this, pure arousal, forgetting she was human, remembering she was human , then pulling her off me. I wish I was human, so I could kiss her back like that, but I can't. I am weak when it comes to that sort of thing.

Bella and I spent the rest of the day planning her trip. She was heading anywhere but Arizona or Florida, too many memories, she would stay in hotels along the way, and when she got where she was going she would rent an apartment for a month. Sounded like a plan to me, though I wished she would have a bit more detail. It was kind of scary to think about her leaving me.

She told Charlie that night and he couldn't have been happier. He wanted her to make sure the decision was the correct one. We also called Alice to see if she could post her journal entries to a blog safely. Alice said yes, and then Bella wrote a letter to Jake. I knew she wanted to see him, but he may have been less understanding then me. Ha, mutt I have one thing above your head.

The night wore down and I spent the night in the tree outside Bella's window. She said she needed to get used to sleeping alone. I watched her sleep and in her dreams she said she loved me. O god did I love her too.

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**End Notes- There you have it the first chapter of Come Back to Me. Please review. Should I continue, do you like it; is my natural writing easier to understand? Let me know! O and the layout will be Bella's journal entry and a little from Bella, then Edward's thoughts. **


	2. You Say You're Becoming Someone Else

Chapter Song: _When You're Gone_- Avril Lavigne

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, or anything else you may recognize throughout this story.

The story song is Come Back to Me By David Cook. It just seemed to fit.

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_June 7__th__ 2008_

_Emmett Idaho_

_Today all there is to be said is I love my truck and this town in horribly small. I saw the town pop up in my GPS and had to stop. It is rather funny a town named after my maybe brother. O well no more today, except I'm still confused, and I still am not sure who I am going to go with._

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_June 8__th__ 2008_

_New Castle Colorado_

_Today I met someone. I was trying to jump into my truck to get my winter coat, damn it Alice, you should have known I would need it! Who knew it snowed in Colorado in freaking June! Anyway, I was jumping into the truck when I lost my footing. I thought for sure I was about to hit the pavement, hard, when a pair of human strong hands righted me. I looked at him and saw what I knew he must see in me, pain, longing, and loss probably at his own hands. He introduced himself as Damien and told me how nice my truck was. We got to talking and thus, I am staying in a hotel off I-70 on the foot of the Rockies. Tomorrow I will hit Denver, and I am sure that it will be my new home for a little while. According to Damien there is nothing like it, and I will not be disappointed._

* * *

"God damn it," I cursed under my breath as I looked for a parka in my duffle bag. Alice should have seen that I would need the fucking thing as I packed. I looked again and finally saw the white material. I jumped to get the leverage I needed into the middle seat and immediately missed the metal bar and started to fall backwards.

I knew what was coming next, a fun trip to the ER. I closed my eyes and waited for impact. It never came; instead a humanly warm and soft pair of hands caught me under my arms, and lifted me to my feet. I looked back to my rescuer and saw a man a few years older then myself.

"Thank you sir," I told him. I immediately went back on my quest to grab my jacket.

"Miss, uh, what the fuck do you think your doing? You almost hurt yourself doing that once."

"Well I'm sorry, but I need my coat. I know I can get it if I just get my footing, after all I can get into the truck just fine. "I knew I should be corgile, but he was making me mad. I am a big girl; I am more then capable of getting a coat out of the back of my truck.

"Let me grab it for you. I am taller and probably better on my feet!" He shot me a brilliant smile that highlighted the pain I saw etched there. I took in his appearance for the first time; he was tall, about six two, with pale green eyes, short black hair, and tan skin. He wore small wire rimmed glasses, gothic pants, and a muscle shirt that put light on his toned arms.

"ARE YOU FUCKING NUTS?" I screamed at him when I saw his clothing. I know that muscle shirts and Tripp pants are not proper attire for snow, no matter how clueless I am to Colorado weather.

"Umm, no. I don't believe so, sorry I bothered." He told me and started to walk away.

"Sorry, sorry. I wasn't referring to your offer. It's just that you are wearing light clothes and I'm freezing in a hoodie and warm jeans. Thank you for your offer it would be great for help, the last thing I need is for Edward to see that I am in the hospital somewhere in rural Colorado." I felt my face drop; I should not have said anything about Edward.

"That makes sense, you're from Washington right? I guess your weather is more predictable there. This morning it was in the seventies, and the temperature only started to drop about an hour ago. You came at just the wrong time." He smiled at me again, I already liked the guy.

"How can it be seventy then randomly start to snow? It's like something out of a sci-fi movie. I'm Bella by the way." I introduced myself as I moved away from the truck. As I moved away, I tripped over a crack in the parking lot and was again tumbling towards the hospital.

He righted me again, and then grabbed my jacket. "Bella, you are by far the second clumsiest person I have ever met, I'm Damien. So, what brings you the wonderfully bipolar state of Colorado?"

"I'm," I paused trying to look for the proper answer to the question. What was I doing here? I didn't think I was running away, but I very well could be. "On vacation." I finished. He didn't need to get involved in the shit that was my life. I pulled a cigarette from my hoodie pouch and lit it. "You want one?" I offered.

He grabbed a cig from my pack lit it and gave me a sly smile, "You know I highly doubt you are on vacation. Normally when people vacation here they bring either outdoor equipment or camping gear, and since I see neither I have to ask you again, why are you here?" I looked closely into his face, and something that I recognized in myself. There was pain in his eyes, a sense of loss so profound I wanted to cry with him. Damien eyes though a different color looked just like mine.

"I am trying to find myself, in a way. Back home, life is complicated. Edward is my fiancé and Jake is my best friend."

"You mentioned Edward earlier, but most people don't just pack up a truck and come to this place, are you running from something Bella."

"More like running too," I answered him quickly. I don't need to make friends; they can never understand my situation unless they are in on the secret.

"So Bella, what's going between Edward and Jake? I don't mean to intrude, but you do look like you need to talk to someone."

"It's a long story, but here is the nutshell: Edward and I were together, but then he got worried about my safety or something so he left. I was a wreck, and Jake saved me from myself. After a few months of Jake and me spending time together Edward finally lost it and I had to go save him. Then he came home we got back together blah, blah, blah. A few weeks ago, I was camping with the two of them, and Jake and I kissed. At the time I thought I made the right decision in choosing Edward, but now I don't know. I love them both with all my heart and I can't help but wonder if I am making the right decision." There he has it a totally humanized version of my predicament. I hoped he understood it.

"Why would you go camping with two boys at the same time, especially ones that are in love with you? That's the only part that doesn't make any sense to me." Well at least he understood my problem.

"Sorry Damien, that info is classified." I smiled, and earned a smile in return. I stamped out my cigarette and looked in his face again. "So Damien, why are your eyes as haunted as mine? You look like you have gone through some shit too."

"Well, you must want to get on the road, and I should get home." He told me avoiding the question.

"Well then I'll take you. There's no point in you wandering around in a soon to be snow storm."

"Thank you Bella, but I don't know if you want to hear my story, at least with yours its going to have a happy ending, or I assume so. Mine never will." He looked at his converse high tops and started to walk away.

"Damien wait, you can tell me. I know I am almost a total stranger, but I can be trusted. I know you need someone to talk too, trust me. The hole inside will only get bigger if you internalize everything. I know, and before the thing with Jake the hole was almost gone. Please, let me help you, I may be able to give you advice."

"No one can help me, especially not a stranger, who can barely stand on her own two feet, but I will accept your ride home. I don't want to walk home even though the sun will be coming out shortly." He gave me a small smile.

"What do you mean the sun will be coming out? It's trying to snow!" The weather here was confusing.

"It's Colorado babe, get used to it. Storms in June don't normally last too long."

I rolled my eyes and said a very sarcastic ok. How could it be seventy, then snow a few flakes, then go back to sun?

He got in my truck and gave me directions to his house. It had a large porch and rust colored paint. It was a little bit on the small side. I looked at his face, and I could tell he wasn't completely happy to be here. His home was somewhere else.

"Bella, I guess I could offer you something to drink. You want to come inside?"

"Sure thing," I sent a quick text to Alice with my address and current whereabouts then followed him inside.

"Dad, I'm home." He called as soon as I walked in behind him.

"Finally, did you get the job at the gas station? You need to get a job otherwise I may have to send you back to your grandma." Damien's dad came into the entryway and saw me trying to hide behind him. I was horribly shy around parents, especially ones that talked so casually about kicking out their children. "Who's this? She sure is a tiny thing. I'm Steve by the way, where did you pick this one up son?" He shot towards the two of us.

I extended my hand towards him, "Actually Steve, I picked him up after he saved me from contact with the pavement. I couldn't get my head around him walking home in this weather dressed like that. Nice to meet you. "

He shook my hand smiled at me, "Aww, she has the same charm that Nina did. Welcome Bella, I assume my son offered you something to drink."

"Yes sir he did." This man obviously had some disdain for his son, though I'm not sure why. Damien seemed like a great kid.

"Well don't let me intrude on this pow-wow; I am off to the station. Damien for the last time did you get the job?"

"Yes, dad. I did. I start next week." He spoke to the floor.

"Nice to meet you Bella, as much as like you, you can do so much better then this sack of shit." Steve grabbed his gun belt and headed out the door.

"Why did you call him to you if you knew he was going to treat you like that?" I couldn't help but ask as the motorcycle peeled out of the driveway.

"I thought he would be proud now that I got a job. I guess I was wrong, anyways I have some Coke's in the fridge." He told me as he bent down to grab two.

I looked at the walls as I made my way into the living room behind him. The couches were older, and had a black sitting on one. I plopped down on one across the room from him, as he turned on the stereo. Otherside by Red Hot Chili Peppers filled the background. I noticed a picture behind the couch. It was of Damien and a beautiful girl. She had burgundy hair, elfin features, and blue eyes that seemed to bore into the room. I could see their happiness together, on her hand was a small diamond.

"Nina," he told me. "She beautiful isn't she?"

"Yes, she is Damien, but who is she?"

"She's my ex, the one I'm so torn up about. I left her when I was nineteen because I was scared about forever. She was sad for about a weekend then moved on to about three other some ones. I wasn't sad about her moving on so fast, she didn't feel pain the same way everyone else does. Her viewpoint on it is, if you don't want me fine. I'll find someone who does. The girl is amazing."

"Why were you scared about forever? It's a gift to love someone so completely, especially someone who your family seems to love."

"I was young, and scared we wouldn't last. She was beautiful, and brilliant. She was eighteen and already had an associate's degree. She was working towards a master's which she now has. I was a nineteen year old who had little chance of a great future. I knew she deserved someone who could talk with her about something besides MTV. I left her and have regretted it every day since."

I looked into his eyes and could see the turmoil there. Just telling the story killed him. "You want a hug?" I asked not knowing what else to say.

"Umm, sure." I moved next to him and embraced him. "About a week after I left, I saw her again. She was wrapped around a jock who I knew she had no feelings for, but that was Nina a flirt. Some people called her slut, but I always knew that was her way of dealing with loss. As I said before she moped for like a day and then threw herself back into the field. Anyways, when I saw her she smiled at me and I could her pain. She then started to make out with the guy dead in front of me, basically saying look I can move on. You lost me, now live with it. That night I ruined any chance of a future with her. I called and called her a skank, something she didn't deserve. I didn't see her again for three months, and when I did she was halfway single."

I got confused, how could someone be halfway single? "What's halfway single, I thought you were either single or not?"

"O, that's my Nina's word. She said that halfway single being in a relationship with someone, but not having any real feelings yet. It's the time before you fall for someone, and are looking for the best person to spend your time with."

"I'm still confused, but continue."

"Maybe this will put it into perspective for you; Nina dated a lot of people. Most of them she was barely into, some were there as a trophy and others were there out of pity. Now before you call her a bitch, she wasn't," he said as he pulled out another cigarette. "Nina was a person who hated to hurt anyone. She would say yes to date just so everyone could have a chance. That's how we got together, well almost. It was rather messed up, and I know it. We met at prom of her sophomore year, and we both went stag. She danced with all her friends, but nothing serious. I didn't know at the time, but she was in love with someone else."

He paused to take a deep drag; I noticed a true smile overtake his face. Just thinking about her before things went to shit brought him out of his hole. "I asked her friend if she was available, and he answered kind of. I looked at him funny. He told me that she wasn't available to take home or anything but she was there for dancing and having fun. I thanked him, and made my way to her curly head of hair. I tapped her shoulder, and she turned to face me. She complemented me on my suit and said I cleaned up nice. I told her that the dress and hair made her look like a goddess. She smiled and told me to get over the poorly worded comments before I made her blush."

"I realized then that she knew me, not that I was surprised, the school was only two hundred kids, including middle school. By the way that's why she was able to go to prom stag. She looked at me and asked me to dance. She couldn't really dance, she was constantly tripping, but she had fun. After prom I went months before I saw her again."

"So did you know her before prom or was she just a girl you saw having fun?" I asked him smiling, when he was happy his smile was contagious.

"I saw before every now and then. She was never at school; she always said it was because there were better things to do then waste her time in a concrete cell studying the solar system. Anyways after summer break, Nina pulled up in a Honda Accord, and honked the horn at some of her friends. I watched from a distance, and she said something about being single. She also said she was in college and making a four point o. I felt proud of her and watched her drive off, knowing that I missed my chance to ask her out."

I wondered why he was telling me so much about her; I guess that maybe it made him feel better. He obviously couldn't talk to his father about her, and he did seem rather isolated here. He took a few more drags and put his cigarette out.

"I saw her again a few days later, working at Wendy's. I asked her out on the spot and she said yes. I knew I wasn't in yet though, I asked her best friends about her dating practices and they said that if I got past a week she was starting to like me, a month and she was falling in love. The month marker also meant that I was the only person in her life."

"She randomly cheated on people she was dating!" I shouted. That just didn't seem right to me.

"Bella, in her head she wasn't dating them. They were just another friend to call, in her head she never cheated on anyone. Once she was committed she was the most loyal and supportive girl you could ask to be with. I know she never cheated on me in two years." I was still confused, this girl sounded like a skank, why would anyone want that? "Bella, she never slept with anyone she wasn't in love with. Yes she kissed a lot of people, but the only people she ever slept with were me, and two others. You gotta understand that she was scared of love as much as she embraced it. Cheating was her way of not falling in love. Love came easy to her even though she ran from it."

"It still doesn't make any sense, to me at least. I guess I am just a different person."

"You are, to you cheating means from the day you say yes; to her it means from the day she develops feelings. Anyway, she and I were together for two years, engaged, before I realized something. She was a brilliant girl. She could do anything with her, life. The fact she had a degree already proved it. I was just a bum, living in the moment. I told her that I was joining the army to find myself and broke up with her. In that moment I made the biggest mistake of my life. "

"I'm sorry, what happened next?"

"I already told you about the days right after the breakup, where she was trying to move and be strong. After our separation we met up again. She invited me over and I could tell she was falling for someone else. That didn't stop her from telling me that she was still in love with me after this time apart. We had a few shots of Vodka and ended up having sex. It didn't matter though, the next day she called and told me that she wanted to make it work with the other guy. It worked and now they have a four year old daughter, and are married. She sends me a Christmas card every year, and I get to see the blue eyed replica grow up."

"How old are you?" I asked him.

"Twenty three, why?"

"Well, you said that her daughter was four, and I was wondering if she could be yours. It makes sense the time frame is right."

"It's impossible, here's a picture of her." Damien dug into his wallet and pulled out another picture of Nina this time with a black haired angel. He was right Nina looked just her mother except for the hair, which was full and curly.

I absorbed his story while I smoked another cigarette, wondering how I could help him. He was so pained; it was almost how Edward would look- wait! I think my decision is suddenly becoming easier.

"Damien, how often do you talk to her? Do you ever call her?" I was curious; they still seemed to have some sense of correspondence.

"We email once every few months. I am not allowed to call her, or see her. If I could I would be down in Denver right now."

"I'm sorry that sucks. Is her husband worried about her leaving him?"

"I can assume so. So Bella, what are you running from? I shared my story with you; I think I deserve more explanation then the one you gave me."

He was right I mean he did just spill out his heart to me. "Well, I can't really say much more then I did. I love them both and I don't know who the one I want to be with is. Both are amazing, both will take care of me, and both love me. Although with Jake there is always the chance he could leave me for someone else."

"Isn't that true with Edward as well? They are both human after all." I snorted.

"Really that is all I can say Damien, I am so sorry."

"I understand Bella, as long as your reasons have nothing to do with not wanting to open up, then I guess I can accept it. It just seems like you are hiding a huge part of your decision. Like why couldn't Edward leave, and why you seem so paranoid. I can tell you aren't afraid of me, but something else is scaring you. I will let it drop; I guess there is too much that can be shared in a few hour pit stops along the highway. Bella, can I have you number? You are amazing to talk to, and your right, I do feel better. I feel like I can breathe for the first time since she chose in his favor."

I pulled out my cell phone entered his number and wrote mine on a sheet of paper, "Damien, never hesitate to call. You are a great guy, and though you may not have the brains that he does, you have what he lacks, trust."

I got into the truck and pulled into the crappy hotel, wrote in my blog and fell asleep. My dreams were full of me staring into the mirror one side of my face was paled with a topaz eye; the other was flushed and glowing like I was pregnant.

* * *

Alice's vision of Damien continued after Bella left, he went to his computer and wrote an email to Nina, and contemplated calling Bella to take him to Denver. He apparently didn't have a car of his own, and needed to get away from his father. He made his decision soon after.

I couldn't help but notice the similarities between Damien's situation and Bella's. Bella was the Nina in his and I was the Damien in mine. I hoped that it worked out better for me then him. The last time I saw a man so broken was looking at my reflection last Christmas.

* * *

**End Notes- Sooo, I know this one lacked some humor, but for some reason it just felt right. Damien will come and go throughout the story. The next chapter will be of Bella arriving in Denver, and saying goodbye to Damien. Don't worry though; good things are coming to him!**


	3. Don't Recognize the Face in the Mirror

_June 9__th__, 2008_

_Some Random Suburb of Denver that seems to have three names, Colorado_

_Imagine my surprise last night when Damien called and asked for a ride down to Denver. Well it wasn't exactly Denver; it was a small town on the outskirts. The guy went to his grandma's and gave me a thank you, I'm not sure if I'll see him again, but I wish him the best of luck. I was tired of driving after dropping him off, so I pulled into the first decent hotel I saw. It looks like a castle, and is right off of I-25. Tomorrow I will go look for an apartment if the weather obeys. I am no where closer to my decision as I was yesterday. When I am away from both of them, it makes it so much worse. I have their pictures in front of me, but I can't help but cry. Soon, I will tell one of them goodbye. The scariest part about all of this is the face I see in the mirror is no longer me. I don't even recognize myself anymore, it's almost like I am changing into some combination of Edward's Bella and Jake's Bella. _

* * *

"Ugg, how much further." I moaned to Damien as we passed through Idaho Springs. The towns seemed to be getting closer together, but they were still small, it didn't seem like we were within two hours of a major metropolitan area.

"Not all too much, we still have to drive through the western part of the city and head up north. Compared to how far you've come though this should be the easiest part of the trip." Every mile that passed, it seemed that Damien's smile widened. He was going home, escaping a volatile situation and running to his future. I should be smiling as well, but in all honesty it's hard to smile when your ass is asleep and legs are starting to cramp. Thank god my back is fine, I love the heated seats.

He was quiet and beaming, until we got to the I-76 turn off. "Bella, get in your left lane. Just stay on this road before I tell you to get off."

I nodded at him and did what he asked. I followed the stretch of highway that seemed to get more and more desolate as the miles racked up. "Damien, where the hell are we going? Why are we leaving the city?"

"Aww, we aren't leaving, we are just going to a suburb that isn't really connected to this trap. You might have heard of the town, if you read Stephen King. It's called Brighton and is super small. At least smaller then Denver. There isn't much too it, but its home." I nodded towards him and continued until he told me to get off at the 144th exit. I followed the road past the new looking shopping center. We made our way quickly through the minimal traffic, and ended up right off of one of the main roads and in front of a small white that caused an even bigger smile to spread across Damien features, he was home.

"Bella, thanks for the ride. I have your number and if I can I'll give you a call some time. I hope that your decision becomes easier as you go through the town. Keep your GPS on, and talk to people that you meet. People here won't hurt you, and are always happy to meet and outsider. I hope you find yourself." He said as he handed me directions to get back into town, and a bone crushing hug. I don't know if we will ever cross paths again, but something tells me that his life is taking a happier path.

I followed the state highway out of town, and made my entry onto I-25 south. After about a mile my body started to scream at me to feed it, and I couldn't take another minute in the car. I saw an exit that had hotels and pulled into the castles parking lot. I tried to see where I was, but it seemed to change every few steps. This town is going to confuse the crap out of me.

I ate dinner at the Village Inn across the street and went to my room to wipe off the sludge of the long trip. I looked into the mirror and saw something that scared me. My eyes had the docile look they had with Edward, but also the wild daring look I had when I was with Jake. It was weird; I almost couldn't look at myself because I am becoming someone else. I am no longer Edward's Bella, I changed. I have brought the part of that is reserved for Jake into the limelight. I hope this doesn't turn into some silly journey of self discovery. I already know myself; I know that I am going to break someone's heart.

* * *

**_Alice's Point of View_**

_**Bella is standing in front of a building waiting for someone. It's not anywhere where we normally live, I can tell that much. It looks like she is in Denver. She sees a black Blazer tare around the corner and a smile that I have almost never seen out of her before spreads across her face. She hops in and gives the guy a passionate kiss. The guy isn't Edward, but he isn't Damien either. She is going to meet someone on her trip that could lead her away from my brother. I only hope that he is as good for her as Edward is.**_

_**The vision changes and suddenly I see Edward and Bella on Isle Esme. Both are laughing and smiling. Bella seems just as content in Edward's arms as she was in the other guy's. These visions have been coming and going since the day she left. I don't know what is going to happen with her. Edward has asked, but still her future never disappears. No matter which way she takes she will be happy, and wolfless. If only we could see what way she was going to take for sure.**_

* * *

Edward's Point of View

Alice's visions now are no longer a source of comfort. They come in two's in one she is always with the dirty blonde, and in the other, well she is with me. There was even one where Alice saw us making love. That one gave me tranquil thoughts until Alice was again hit with the vision of her and the human. I know that I should be happy; this is after all what I asked for, a human life for Bella. I feel the venom welling up in my eyes again, and I drop to the floor of my meadow sobbing.

"Dude, it's not very manly to randomly burst into tears. I mean come on it's a fifty-fifty shot. She'll probably choose you anyway," a booming voice said from the trees. The stench burned my nose.

"Thank you for butting into my private moment. Now can I get back to moping about her? God fucking dogs never know how to leave you alone." I grumbled, trying to get him away from me. This was my private time, a time where I could escape my own head, while retreating into my own head. Her leaving really has driven me crazy!

Jacob started laughing at me, "Mopeward, seriously! Get a fucking grip on yourself. I came here to read an entry with you. Then we are going to Port Angelas, we need to form a truce. No matter who she picks she will want to remain friends with the other one. So, let's read today's entry, which I happen to know was just posted, and head to see some gory movie that the women would never want to see."

I looked at Jacob in shock. How could he be asking me to wave aside our differences especially when he was my competition? I knew Alice's visions were saying that she had a better chance of wining the lottery then ending up with him, but still it's not like he knows that, and besides this could all be a plan to make me look bad.

I looked into his thoughts and all I saw was love for Bella and willingness to do anything to make her happy. The boy would walk through fire to make her smile. I almost felt bad for him, he would never have her. I am certain of that now, but he will always be her friend. Maybe with this companionship we could help make Bella's life happier.

"Umm. Sure Jake. Here let's read it on my phone."

We read through the journal entry together, and by the end we felt more like brothers. We had something in common. The girl we were in love with wasn't sure about who she wanted to be with.

"Jake what does she mean about not recognizing herself, and how can there be two parts of her? I'm confused."

"Edward, she is a different person with you. She is often more timid and fragile. With me, well she is brave and would refuse to back down from anything. Now both sides of her are combining and she is afraid. Imagine if the two parts of yourself that you didn't realize you had suddenly combined into one."

"I guess, so did you still want to hit a movie. We can go to one that starts at six." He told me, almost begging with his mind. Why did he suddenly want to be friends? Could this seriously be all because of Bella?

_Yes,_ Jacob yelled at me mentally. _Edward she wants us to be friends and she would never want to be cut out of one our lives. She doesn't see the beast just the being. If we do this for her, it will prove that she has made the right choice no matter what. _

I nodded at him, "Want to race?" And took off running towards Port Angelas.

* * *

The movie sucked, at least could agree with something. Once we put our differences aside, how easily Jake and I got along. He was almost like Emmett, he had a free spirit and besides his obsession with my Bella, we were almost like friends. I could see now why she loved this guy.

We went to some nasty fast food place after the movie, so that Jake could shovel in six cheeseburgers. I looked on in mild disgust. I guess this is how Bella must have felt; no one should be able to gorge themselves like that.

After eating Jake asked mentally if I was ready to go. I nodded towards him, and we threw away his trash. Upon leaving, Jake bumped into a curly head of blonde hair. "Aww, shit I'm sorry." He said to the girl who was staring at the ground moping about her pathetic love life. She wondered why no one ever wanted her, and how she should stop trying to be perfect. I could smell her tears.

"It's ok," she said to her shoes before looking up.

She had brilliant blue eyes, and a rounded face. She tried to smile up at Jake and me, but it didn't reach her eyes. That seemed to be a common occurrence nowadays, no one was happy.

She looked Jake in the eyes and something clicked in both of them. I could almost feel the rush of emotions from Jake tying her to him for the rest of his life, and she developed what she thought was a crush. Lovely, Jake just imprinted.

"_Please don't tell Bells," _was what he thought towards me.

* * *

**End Notes- Hello all. Sorry about the long wait, and the short chapter. This was just a filler to keep the story moving. Things will start to pick up here soon, don't worry!**

**Please review, and thank you to my readers. You guys make this all worth it!**


	4. I'll Wait for You

_June 10__th__, 2008_

_So long story short I am stuck in this hotel room for another night. Apparently people here have never seen rain before, because everyone I talked to today was in a grumpy mood. I guess I can understand that rain here isn't a constant thing, but still you'd figure I could get at least one smile. _

_I still don't know what town I'm in, I highly doubt the residents do. I think the address reads Thornton, but across the street is Westminster and a block down its Northglenn. Denver is so confusing, and I haven't even left the north side of town yet. I think I'll try to do that tomorrow. _

_Back on point, I met someone else today. His name is Jack. He met up with me while I was sitting under an extension of the roof, smoking a cigarette. He made a couple cracks about the crappy weather, and when I shrugged my shoulders at him he introduced himself. Apparently he is a music promoter, a big time one too. He's twenty three and rolling in the big bucks, he said something like a large six figure income. _

_We talked for a bit and then I went back to my room. He handed me a card and went on his way. I think I may have to call him sometime, just for a chat._

* * *

I tilted my head back in the rain as I walked back under the alcove. Sometimes I loved the rain, and today was one of those times. In Forks the rain was a constant companion, here it means something more. Its cleansing in a way, as it falls it washes away all the pain I am feeling right now. I am no closer to deciding on forever, but for the first time I am happy about that. No eighteen year old should have to choose on forever before she even knows what she wants to study in college. It's ok that I am unsure, and it's ok that I need time to myself before I rush into a lifelong commitment with some type of immortal being.

I smoked quickly feeling the slight chill with the rain, and noticed a guy standing a few feet from me, choking down a cigarette. "Hey there, crappy weather huh? I hate it when it rains it takes so much away from the town. I assume you're from out of town; you don't seem to be to upset about the rain. When it's clear you can see all the way to downtown, and the mountains. Hell you can see until the sky meets the earth."

I shrugged in response, trying to be safe. In a big city was a great place to start practicing keeping my mouth shut.

"You defiantly are from out of town. It is common courtesy to answer someone when they are talking to you."

"I'm sorry, I guess I'm not used to the don't talk to strangers rule being out dated," I snapped at him.

"Aww, she speaks. Great, I'm Jack, Jack Stevens. I'm here as your official welcome party to Denver. Please accept this light as a welcome gift; we are happy to have you here in the only big city where you run into people you know constantly." He told me as he handed me a lighter, as I dropped mine into a puddle.

"Thanks," I muttered as I lit my slow form of suicide. "So why are you bothering me? I mean I could be an ax murderer, or some psychopath."

"True, you could be, but I could ask you the same thing. Do you usually make small talk in the bus pit of a hotel? Or am I the first? So miss I have a chip on my shoulder, are you going to tell me you name, or do I have to guess?" He asked as I handed his lighter back.

I shrugged towards him as I took a deep drag, letting the smoke mix with the moisture in the air.

"I guess I need to figure it out myself. Hmm, nothing to exotic, it wouldn't fit you. Something classic is more like it. Victoria?" I shuddered as he brought up the memories of the fight. "No I guess not, Elizabeth doesn't seem to fit, so that leaves one left, Isabella." I gasped. "Yes, Isabella, but it seems so formal to you and it doesn't fit as well. You prefer Bella."

"How did you know that?" I growled.

"It's a gift; I work with people all day. Most of the time people embody a part of their name, for example most people named Chris have an innate ability to go all high and mighty when they are offended. You are very classic, so your name had to be something straight out of history. Isabella seems perfect because of your dark hair; however you do not look full Italian so the name would probably be cut down. You also seem to have a certain lack for formality."

"You're right, so Jack, why are you walking around a hotel? You obviously know why I'm here, so did you get kicked out of your house for being a presumptuous ass?"

"No, I'm meeting a band. They flew in from LA and I am trying to make sure they are ready for their set tomorrow. You should come to the show, it will be great. Just be sure to wear something that will make you fit in. It's at the Ogden, starts at seven hers my card. Call me if you have any questions." He said as he walked away into the darkening sky.

I was dumbfounded, but yet for some reason I wanted to spend some more time with him. I wanted to talk to him for no specific reason, other then he seemed interesting. I hadn't felt this curious about someone since I met Edward.

I made my way back up to my room and decided to Google him. What pulled up shocked me, he made it big at eighteen, and was now making more then I could ever imagine. The next year he was even expected to crack the seven figure mark. Wow.

* * *

"Jake when the fuck are you going to tell her about Callie." Jake's imprints name fit her perfectly; blonde tanned, and looked straight like she was out of 90210. When Bella got back she was going to feel so insignificant.

"I don't want her to choose you by default. I want her to choose for herself, not because you are the only one left." He replied as we sat along the beach.

"Yes, I can agree with that, but still shouldn't you tell her just to let her let go. It's Bella; she is not going to rush back into my arms just because she feels like she has too. She has combined the two halves of herself together, making her more stubborn. She cares about her future, and I highly doubt she will come into my arms just because you are no longer available."

"You know something I don't. She was never going to choose me was she?"

"No, it was always a tossup between me and some human. She hasn't met him yet, she is still looking. I don't even know his name or who what he does."

"That sucks to know. I guess we know now why she was never going to choose me though. So, Edward, how should we tell her about this?" Jake asked me as he stretched his muscles.

Immediately I heard the pixie in my mind. She was tearing down the beach towards us, playing Bella's day over in her mind. I guess I wouldn't even have to read the journal. Bella had met my biggest competition. "Edward, don't pan- what the hell are you doing with him?" She mentally screamed as neared the spot next to us.

"He is a good person Alice."

"He imprinted, tell Bella now before everything blows up in our faces. I would like to see Bella again before I die!" Alice yelled at me. Jake turned to look at her and smiled. I don't know why he was suddenly so cool with us vampires, maybe he had finally realized we weren't the monsters he was designed to kill, and we were something more, something like protectors as well.

"Wait one minute psychotic Barbie, I am not going to tell Bella until I am ready. I can't break heart, like other people seem so prone to doing. At least I never left her for some bullshit ass reason. Get over yourself."

Alice puffed up and stared at him, clearly contemplating the best to disembowel him. "You don't seem to love her much either, it will break her heart less to tell her about Callie now."

"Fucking-a give me a god damn cell phone. If she breaks down I blame both ya'll, because this wasn't my idea. You guys are so damn persistent." He growled.

"Here you go Jake you might be surprised what happens when you tell the truth."

She handed Jake the cell phone and he quickly dialed Bella's preprogrammed number. He glared at us as the phone played some random light rock song. "Alice, oh my god! I met someone today; I can't seem to get him out of my head."

"That's nice to know Bells," Jake's voice answered her. I heard her sharp intake of breath.

"Jake," she questioned, even though she clearly knew who was on the other end of the line.

"Yep, so Bells I have something to tell you, before my innards are spread across the sound." Jake said hesitantly, waiting for Bella's response. There are sometimes I wish I was as brave as he was. He never ran from his problems, never left anyone he loved, I envied him.

"Why are you hanging out with the Cullen's?" she questioned as she rustled the blanket that surrounded her.

"Well, I think we have finally put our differences aside, now that we have realized we are fighting for the same thing. Bella, please don't hate me."

"Jake I could never hate you, now what is it before I go completely mad!"

"I imprinted."

The simple statement caused a strangled gasp to escape Bella. She was silent for a few minutes before she started to speak. "Jake, thank you for telling me. That is hard to hear but I wish you the best of luck, please live your life with her. Value her like you would do for me. Never forget what we had even when we were friends. Jake, I need to go now. Please, I love you buddy," she said as she moved to hang up the phone.

"Bella, wait!" Jake cried into the phone.

"What Jake?" Bella said sounding tired. "Are you going to rip my heart out a little further? Because no I am not going to run straight into his arms. I need time to find who I am without all the craziness that I have grown accustomed to. Bye Jake, enjoy her."

Bella hung up the phone leaving a gapping Jake.

"Told you.' I said simply.

"I didn't believe you, I couldn't believe you. Is she ok?" Jake asked looking towards Alice.

"She's fine, get over yourself. O and Edward don't kill her when you see this."

* * *

**End Notes- ok so here ends another chapter in Com Back to Me. I hope you enjoyed it, and please note that the next chapter will have a bit more substance. I was setting some stuff up in this one. **


	5. an

Dear Readers:

It breaks my heart to do this but I have come to the conclusion that I need to abandon my stories. I am a completely different person than when I first started to write and have faced a lot. I have tried to get back to them, but am unable to finish because my heart is not with them any longer. In a few weeks I will likely have a new story posted that will be better than my old writing. I have grown as an author. When I start a new story it will be one that has a lot of soul to it and shows how much I have grown as a person.

If you have any question about how the story would have ended, or would like to adopt please PM me and I will answer all your questions for you.

Thank you so much for being a fan and I hope to live you to your expectations in the future. Above all thank you for reading.

Nikki


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